Sad ....

Mom and Dad left this morning. Thank God I had a friend here so I could cry on someones shoulder. Crying seems to come easy these days ... not that I don't have reasons to: Eric deployment is now scheduled to be longer than expected, I am on my own with two kids, Spring looks like it may NEVER get here, I caught the world's WORST cold and I cannot even talk ... on top of all that add the hormones that are raging out of control and I am one big tear making machine.

Its Friday afternoon and I must say, the excitement that I would typically feel on any given Friday is just here. I never thought I would miss having my husband around as much as I truly do. Even with my parents here, there was a huge piece of my life missing that I cannot seem to get past. The problem? I HAVE to get past it ... otherwise, the next year and a half is going to be long and tedious. I know I can do it ... I just don't want to. Maybe I should start playing the lotto .... I could win enough to quit my job, travel whenever I want, hire people to take care of everything, and pay the military off to send my other half home! Wishful thinking, huh?

Joshua is walking around telling me, "Mommy, I am sad because Grandma and Grandpa left." Tell me about it kid! Now - every dirty diaper, every 3 am wake up call, every dirty floor - it is all MY responsibility again.

I have a few friends - and I use the term "friend" VERY loosely - who just do NOT get it. They don't get that not have your husband here for a year and a half changes your life completely. These are the same people that promised they would "help in any way they could" when they found out that Eric was going. Now, he has only been gone for 3 months - with at least 15 or so left - and where are they? It took them two weeks to write and email and say "congrats on your baby"????????? These are - once again - the same people that I went OUT OF MY WAY for when their children were born. Whatever.

I have a theory ... certain things in life help you see who is truly THERE for you - regardless of family or friend - weddings, births and crisis ...... my wedding helped weed out quite a few "friends" .... the birth of Joshua weeded my social circle down a bit more .... and now, this situation that I have been put in? Well, I am finding out family members - on his side AND mine - who are willing to go the extra mile, those who don't quite know the meaning of family, and those who are so self-centered that they don't even know about all of this. The same is true for friends .... I am seeing those who are truly Heaven sent .... and those that can be sent elsewhere.

A little deep for a Friday? Blame it on the hormones. :)

I plan on having a girlfriend over this evening (the same one that was here this nmorning - God bless her) ... we will drink some beer, eat some pizza and watch a movie and maybe some basketball ..... These girls nights are just going to have to replace date nights for a few years for me ......