High school, again?!??!?!?!

I graduated high school 16 years ago. When I left, I assumed I was leaving all of the "high school" crap with it.
Apparently, I was wrong. I have had many "friends," coworkers, family members, STILL living in their high school days ... if they aren't, then they haven't left the high school crap with them.

Where am I leading with this? Well, for over two years I have been involved in a Supper Club group ... we cook, hang out, DRINK, have loads of fun. The ladies are all different ages, backgrounds, etc ... there were 6 of us.

On Thursday afternoon, we suddenly get an email from one of the ladies - the host of the next dinner, none the less - saying that she quit. Period. No explanation, nothing. A 50 year old woman cannot "man-up" and wait until she is in front of her "so called friends" to tell them she is ending her friendship with them??

OK ... so we can have a group with 5, and in the meantime we would search for a new member.

I log onto my email last night before I went to bed. ANOTHER effing email from ANOTHER lady saying that it was "time to bow out" .... WTF?????????????

Grow the eff up and TALK to your friends when you are face to face ... don't hide behind your stinking computer screens!!!!!!!!

I was told a LONG time ago to never start, end or discuss friendships, business, etc on email ..... it goes all wrong.

Whatever. Both of these women were over the age of 40 and had clues (so I think).

Now I am pissed. I looked forward to these supper club nights. I planned babysitters .... it was something I could look forward to every month - especially since Eric has been gone.

Guess I should pull out my yearbook and revisit bad mall bangs ... I have entered high school crap once again.

Gray Day

I woke up to the sound of rain today. little j was sleeping next to me ... and Big J was standing at my bedroom door. I turned and saw an empty side of the bed (the same emptiness that has been there since January). Sad.

A couple girlfriends stopped by for some coffee this morning. That was a nice change of pace ... and I was able to let Big J watch Finding Nemo, instead of running around a coffee shop acting like a nutcase.

While they were here, E called! He only had 5 minutes left on his calling card. He sounded so far away, so tired ... I am sure the heat and jet-lag is having one giant effect on them all. Before I could say good-bye, the call ended ... we ran out of minutes. If he reads this ... "bye, talk to you soon and I LOVE YOU!"

This is going to a a long, rainy day ... and a LONG year...............

I missed him....

I took the boys over to a friend's house to play with her boys ... we had lunch, played and came home.
There was a message waiting for me when I walked into the kitchen.

I checked the caller ID and it said Out of Area ... I knew before I even hit the play button. I hit play and heard E's voice.

I missed his call. I have told him to call my cell phone - I am trying to get into the habit of carrying it with me every where (the bathroom, the shower, Mass)- but because it is a new service, I have a new number and he cannot remember the number.

:( Now I am going to be sad for a while ... I missed his call ... I just wanted to hear his voice .... those little things sustain me until the next time.

Thursday Thirteen

13 Foods I HATE (In honor of last week):

1. Goat Cheese - OMG - I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much I detest this stuff. And stupidly, I ALWAYS give it one more dry ... and every time, it tastes like I put wet, dirty socks into my mouth!!!!

2. Canned Peas - I love fresh peas, snow peas, pea pods ... but peas in a can? The smell alone can send me running. I couldn't even feed baby food peas to my son ... the smell killed me!

3. Okra - what gives with this stuff? Any time I have had it is is nothing but stringy and gross!

4. Edamame - I have NO clue what people see in this stuff. You call it a snack?!?!??!?! Um .... chips, nuts, pretzels ... THOSE are snacks!!!!! Soy beans - or what ever these suckers are? GROSS!!!!

5. Taco Bell - I know, I know. Some people LIVE for this stuff. I used to in college too ... but suddenly it just started tasting like - crappy Mexican food.

6. Liver- Enough said

7. Pork rinds - I had a friend that ate them all the time ... anything that smelled THAT bad could NOT taste good!

8. Tapioca Pudding - It has "things" in it .... gross.

9. Rhubarb - They make pies with this stuff ... I tried to once - I threw the entire plan away!

10. Couscous - I have just never found it to taste even REMOTELY good .... I have cooked it, bought it already made ... all kinds of ways. I always end up just dumping it out.

11. Creamed spinach - I love spinach; but creaming this vegetable is a crime. Yuck.

12. Minced meat pie - What IS it? It smelled like feet.

13. Black licorice - eeewwww (I think it has to do with the very last shot I did on my 21st birthday - Jager bombs - I am gagging just thinking about it).

Wordless Wednesday

An end is coming ....

So, I have less than two weeks left of my freedom. Suddenly life seems to start spinning a bit faster than I am ready for. I am not ready to be professional. I am not ready to be held to a schedule! Shoot - I am not even getting 6 solid hours of sleep each night!!!!!

With the 2 weeks that I have left I am going to use it as vacation. Do NOTHING. Maybe we will go to the zoo (if our CRAP ASS Chicago weather ever leaves), or to a museum or something. Stuff that I cannot do with these little guys while I am working.

Memorial Day weekend was nice. We had a cookout on Sunday with friends ... it was nice. Chaotic with all of the kids running around, but they all had a blast. Yesterday I took the boys to a Memorial Day Mass at church. It was much needed and very therapeutic. Fr. Tom helped ease some of the pain I am feeling.

I took the boys to dinner at Durty Nellie's - enjoyed a beer and a burger. We played kickball and softball and then called it a night.

Now the weather is COLD COLD COLD .... I think today will be a grocery store, movie day!!!!!

Goodbye....

To my dear sweet husband.....

We will miss you. Be safe. Don't be afraid ... we think of you always and pray for you every day.

You will be missed. Every tear we cry will be one less we will have to shed once you return.

We always talk about you ... we know you are always with us in spirit. Know that we are with you on spirit as well.

I know God will remain with you all day, every day. The angels will be watching out for you too.

You are our hero ... you always have been ... and you always will.

We love you.

Tears

Memorial Day weekend has always been a fun one for me. It always signifies the start to summer ... but I have NEVER forgotten, nor allowed others to forget, why we "celebrate" it.
Both of my grandfathers fought in WWII, one for the Navy and one for the Marines. I always remembered them on this weekend.
Suddenly I am thrust into a new genre this year ... I am suddenly facing the fact that my precious husband is one of those men we are honoring this Memorial Day. My husband will one day call himself a Veteran.
I was watching the Cubs game this evening and saw the new Budweiser commercial. It shows troops in an airport walking from/to their plane and people in the airport start to clap. The screen fades to black and it simply says "thank you." I had to stop myself from crying into my dinner.
Let us not forget why we are all enjoying a long three day weekend. Let's remember those who have gone before us, who are gone now, and who will someday go. The are truly our heroes ... let's teach our children that. I am so sick of our "heroes" being from Hollywood. My Grandpas didn't fight for that. Neither will my husband.

Friday Fill-ins

1. On my laziest day I like to watch nothing but old reruns and stay in my Gap lounge pants and a big T-shirt.

2. A clean and organized house makes me feel like I'm being productive.

3. I love little boys and big smiles on their faces .

4. This summer I want to lose 50 pounds (no joke or exaggeration!).

5. Jen's idea to keep a journal for E while he was gone made me start my blog.

6. Red licorice and orange Popsicles .

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to dinner with the boys and having a drink ... tomorrow my plans include lunch with Jen, Ace Hardware, and working in the yard and Sunday, I want to have a cookout with some friends and enjoy some good conversation.

Thursday 13

13 foods I love

1. Oreos .... these are either man's greatest invention ... or the devil's greatest temptation. Don't even get me STARTED about Double Stuff! :)

2. Cool Ranch Doritos - yummy!

3. Cedar Plank Grilled Salmon - heavenly and delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. Nachos - especially from Champps Bar and Grill - so good - but SO bad!

5. Chopped Salads ... just when you think you are eating healthy you realize there is more bacon and cheese in these things than in most BLT's! :)

6. Cake Batter ice cream from Cold Stone ..... mmmmmmmm

7. Hamburger - I don't mean lame ass burgers from Mickey D's ... I mean BURGERS .... thick juicy burgers with all kinds of junk on top!

8. Bacon .... the smell of it makes me drool. I love it on burgers, salads, with eggs, on bread ... anywhere! Its what I crave after I drink too much the night before!

9. Sugar Cookies .... they have to be BIG and CHEWY! YUM!

10. Smoked Cheese - Gouda, Cheddar, Mozzarella - just give me that smoky flavor and I am happy!

11. Club Sandwiches (see number 8) .... so good!

12. French fries - they have to have just the right amount of salt and even a little spice. Throw in some ranch dressing and ketchup!! AAAHHHHH!!

13. Anything my Mom makes for me! :)

Wordless Wednesday

The past few weeks

If ever time has flown by, it has certainly been the past 4 weeks. It seems like JUST yesterday I was waiting to go to Florida ... and now, I am home, E has come and gone and reality is smacking me in the face.

Florida WAS great. The first week I was there we were busy getting ready for Jessica's wedding. Lots of running around and helping my Mom, but I made sure to get in the pool every day with Big J and even had some time to go get a pedicure with my Mom. Dad never let a happy hour pass us by - so all in all it was a GREAT start to my "vacation."

The wedding festivities were lots of fun ... busy and chaotic ... but fun. The boys behaved SO well ... all of my worry was all for not! Big J helped everyone and even fell asleep during the reception. I did have a lot of hands to help with things ... but I was so proud of them.
My sister looked beautiful and the wedding was gorgeous ... from the programs to the candy buffet she designed. There were a few minor glitches - a groomsman decided to be a lame-ass and start a fight (Dad had to have him kicked out) and she realized she had left her tiara and jewelry back home while we were getting ready that day! But - all things were salvaged and I must say .... the three of us are married off and we all did it with class and beauty!

I got back last Tuesday night - my Mom came back until Saturday morning. We shopped and hung out - it was so awesome to have here here! She was able to watch the boys on Friday night so E and I could go to dinner on our own. THAT was nice. We haven't done that in MONTHS.

E and I took the boys in for family pictures on Saturday. They turned out great - but my lasting impression was I NEED TO LOSE SOME MAJOR WEIGHT!!!!!!!!

He left yesterday. My heart broke. I could hardly let him go when we were at the airport. He is going to be so far away for so long. Can I do this? I don't WANT to... at all.

Depressed, depressed, depressed

I know, I know ... I haven't been on in over three weeks and I immediately post something about being depressed? But .... E was home for the final time this weekend. It was an emotional visit ... good in some ways, bad in others.
Big J is so clingy to him .... he ended up in our bed every night. He keeps walking around saying "Daddy doesn't have to go to Iraq anymore!" .... it is breaking my heart.
I will update more later about my trip to Florida, etc ... but for now ... I take my husband to the airport in two hours and then I will have one good, long cry fest.